Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You took a bar mat shot.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
