I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it was like eating out sand paper
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
