Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
