I'm going to jail i love you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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