Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
