Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize