so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize