The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you win again, gameday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
