just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
