that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
