I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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