Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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