did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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