Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
