your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
