another moral hangover. fuck.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Let's get the cat blown out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
