Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
