people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
