Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
