And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
