How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize