even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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