she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
