He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize