When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I checked into jail on foursquare
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
