got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My life is pants optional.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
