The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
