then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
