Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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