There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
