I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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