hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
