I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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