Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize