I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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