yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize