Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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