Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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