Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
