He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
