What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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