Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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