Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
