hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
zippers are such a cool invention
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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