Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
