do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
