Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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