If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sober January is a disaster.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
