omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
