doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
