Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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