I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
