she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
