Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
