we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
