saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
