She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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