Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
