we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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