This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
