I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
