He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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