I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
