he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
