matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
