I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
