Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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