I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
