Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
should my penis look like a turkey
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
