girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
