Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
